Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Crackpots and These Women

I don't know if it's just the revolution in the air or the fact that we're all in our twenties and facing the big bad real world, but in recent weeks many of my female friends and I have remarked on how lucky we are to have each other as well as the many other wonderful and inspiring women in our life. Cheesy cheesy cheesy, I know. Nonetheless, I read Hayley's brilliant post the other morning morning, last week I read Ariana's very kind post and a whole host of other situations have once again led me to the conclusion that the women in my life are amazing. They, more than anyone else, make me want to be better, do more, get myself out there and show the world what I've got. They make me believe I've got something in the first place. Never underestimate the power of that in someone's life.

I've many goals for this year, not so much resolutions as things I have it set in my mind that I want to achieve. Obviously I have to be realistic - right now I'm exhausted. I haven't really had a proper break since I came home at the very beginning of August, a combination of there not really being time and not wanting to give someone else more to deal with just because I was feeling run down myself or whatever. I'm better busy, but I rarely accept how much it tires me out.

Jobs-wise, I've begun to apply for many jobs and internships in all sorts of fields, but I'm also looking at how I can support myself freelancing in various ways in the mean time, as well as keeping a couple of part time jobs. Hard work but not excruciating and hard work suits me well. Still, it would be nice to have a slightly more permanent job... I think... but then people keep suggesting I take a year out. Tempting, very tempting. A few weeks of careful thinking has meant that the solution seems to be (for me) taking my time until September (unless a job suddenly appears) and at that point hitting everything hard. I will need to have moved out by then as we will be in a new house and students will need my room -- that's ok, I have plans for that. It's all do-able, really. That's the great revelation of 2012 so far: I am capable, as long as I don't put too much pressure on myself. I'm fantastic at working under pressure but then I inevitably burn out a little bit afterwards and that's what I have to avoid. I have to take extra care to be healthy and well and rested and able to jump into every job and do my absolute best. Luckily, I have wonderful friends to inspire me along the way and just generally be brilliant.

Anyway, I have to get to a seminar now. Write again soon. x

Title is from one of my favourite episodes of The West Wing. What should I track below? Do let me know.

Listening to: Merlin's Time by Al Stewart
Book I just finished: Autumn Term by Antonia Forest
Chicago 21st: £0.00 [purely because I just funded my VidCon trip!]

Welcome to the Twenties

Earlier today I got a (familiar) nasty feeling, although in truth it had been building up for quite some time. Palms sweaty, anxiety levels spike. Suddenly everything feels a little chaotic and immediately I must find things to throw at that chaos. Normally this is easily remedied by dyeing my hair but unfortunately I am trying to wean myself off the blonde stuff to let my hair repair a little and put aside pennies for what I hope will be a 21st birthday week spent with friends in my favourite city in the U.S.A.: Chicago. All things go, all things go.

Anyway so deprived of my top solution to the crappy chaotic state of mind I tried the second one -- one that rarely fails me. Start a new blog. What could possibly go wrong! Appropriately, I have twenty-something blogs (most of them are now locked away under totally private settings) and I generally fail at updating all of them regularly. Recently I've favoured tumblr because it's not really blogging appropriate so if I stick a sneaky post in here or there I don't feel any responsibility to keep posting blog posts in the future. They are more angsty vignettes than blog posts, I suppose.

This, on the other hand, is commitment. Sort of. Here are the things to which I am committed at this point:
  • Blogging at least once a week, preferably more often.
  • Tracking the dodgy state of mind I expect to constantly find myself in upon writing a dissertation, approaching graduation, trying to go on vacation (I don't normally use that word but the -ations were just too nice) and ideally, finding the perfect job. Or lots of perfect jobs, I'm really not picky. I'll take what I can get.
  • Getting in shape for summer. It would be really nice to not have to worry about my body on the beach and just to feel carefree and magical.
  • Organising and developing video projects.
  • Vaguely keeping track of what I'm writing and how much I'm writing (fiction). I'm all about the process and in the manner of a true narcissistic I'd like to establish what my process actually is.

Now that's over and done with, introductions. The bulk of the people reading this will probably know these things, but in case you have oh-so-luckily stumbled across my blog from the Google abyss or wherever, here you go: my name is Rosianna (nicknames include roast, roast potato, Rosipo--there's a theme--Rosi banana, Zanna and of course, Rosi, which everyone on the other side of the pond strangely feels compelled to call me) and I am, as of Wednesday 25th January 2012, twenty years of age and some five or six months. I'm in my last few months of studying BA English at university and I spent my second year of studies abroad at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, New York.

I videoblog on the YouTube channel missxrojas and have been doing so for many many years. Apart from the "videoblog" umbrella, I don't fall neatly into any other videomaking category and accordingly call my channel a scrapbook -- it's all a tad bitty but it's full of things that I like and hope other people like. This month I've been working on something called the New Year Revolution, where I post a new video every single day fulfilling the challenges set on the Channel4 website.

As the youngest of three daughters, I'm extremely stubborn and constantly working hard to catch up (or ideally overtake, a girl can dream) with people who've had a few more years on this planet than I have. My dad passed away late last July from a haemorrhagic stroke so I suppose I've been trying to come to terms with that whilst simultaneously refusing to take my foot off the accelerator with the many projects I am signed up to, including being Editorial Director of LeakyNews amongst other things.

Reading and writing are my two biggest interests and I love them like a love song. You can find an inexhaustive list of what I've read recently here on my Goodreads (I do accept all friend requests, I'm just very slow).

Lastly, if you're so inclined, you can always keep up to date with me and my goingson on Twitter.

That's it for now, I have to get back to the books. I'll probably post something else later today and until then, stay excellent. x

P.S. Oh! This blog title! Well it arose both out of a frustration with everyone taking the usernames I wanted and out of a need to make myself feel less like I was standing on the precipice of a cliff and more like I was being handed a flapper dress and being invited into a great party.